Monday, December 10, 2007

A Life Without Regret

Five years ago my husband first asked me about moving overseas. A job opportunity came up and we had to decide what to do. For me, it was a really easy decision, and basically revolved around living life without regret.

I couldn't think of many situations that would make me regret my decision to move. The places I would see, adventures I would have, would all easily squelch the pain of missing my family.

But what I knew was that if we didn't go, we would regret it forever. I doubted that I'd ever say, "oh, I wish we wouldn't have moved to France- it was awful". What I could picture more realistically was saying, if we didn't go, "Remember when we could have moved to France- I wonder what our life would've been like if we had gone."

I knew I made the right decision, especially after my Dad died last year at the age of 52. He had accomplished so much, even in his shorter lifespan, and I know he didn't regret anything. His professional life improved every year, and my brother worked for him following his college graduation and made him very proud. He loved me so much and loved my husband as his own son and was excited that we were expecting his first grandchild. Everyone who met him loved him in return, so much so that we had nearly 900 people at his memorial service.

Many people approached me at the service or afterwards and wanted to tell me about the last conversation they had with him. These conversations were always good, always positive. The main thing that people remember about him is his response to the question, "How are you doing?" He always said, "I'm doing great!" If he spoke first, he wouldn't ask how you were doing, he'd say, "Tell me something good" and he expected a positive response. He wanted everyone to live life positively, committing to make themselves one day better in whatever they pursued, and have no regrets.

The experience of losing my Dad, someone who regretted nothing, and my decisions in life, for which I have no regrets, make me happy. But it also makes me feel a lot of pressure. I want to always make the right decision and live life so that I have no regrets.

Right now I'm struggling with something that is putting me on the verge of regret. I really want to have another baby, but know I'm about 20 pounds heavier than when I got pregnant with Love Bug and that just isn't healthy. Given my trouble getting pregnant (no treatments, but it took 2+ years), I feel that I should get moving on trying, so my plan is to work on eating better, with the hopes that it helps me lose weight and get in better shape for the next baby. In reality, the weight loss and better eating habits will help me get pregnant too (see here). I've asked Susan about some training plans and she has kindly responded, encouraging me all the way. But I'm just finding no motivation and need some encouragement. Could you all pray for me as I start this process? I need to quit giving into bad food temptations and get myself up, moving, and exercising. If I don't do this now, I will regret the time I spent out of shape and not as healthy as I could be for myself, my family, and especially Love Bug.

Any other struggles going on out there? What do you think about regret? Do you have any decisions that you regret or anything you are so glad you did to avoid regret?

2 comments:

Cheri said...

I'm praying for you - you better believe it!

Can't post much right now (I"m heading out the door) but you are not the only one struggling with weight/food issues. I've got to go back through a bible study I did previously and reapply it. I'll send you an email (probably this weekend)

carrie said...

Abbey,

Thank you for sharing--it was so good to read about your dad and I appreciated your honesty about your current struggle.

This is the hardest time of year for me in terms of my health/weight. It's so cold outside that I don't want to get out, and there are many more tempting treats lying around which I give into all too often.

Thanks for the reminder to make this a priority! I'm sure checking in here every now and then will be great for encouragement and accountability!