Thursday, September 13, 2007

Did I forget that I'm leaving?

Yesterday, I went to my old job and went for dessert with the girl who took over my position. We had a really nice time, but then when we got back to the office, I realised that I would be seeing many of these people for the last time. I would have to say goodbye right then. What a horrible slap in the face! I should've seen it coming, I know, but I just forgot that I was running out of days to run over there "one last time". So, I said goodbye. and left feeling strange, wondering when I'd be back. Will it be 6 months? 3 years?

To add to this, we got our housing in Rome and it's not very good. Far away from B's work and we'll have no car for awhile. We're going to appeal the decision and try to get something closer. I know I shouldn't complain about living in Rome, but I want a good quality of life too. I don't want his commute to be an hour or more! And I don't want to cross under the beltway/ring road... whatever you call it... to get to any shopping or restaurants. I'm sure we'll be able to get the appeal for something better, but it's just hard to handle the what-ifs.

I've been praying for some perspective on this, and to worry about the more important things than where I live. I've also been praying for acceptance of this move, because I have to move. I do not want to, and that's really the issue behind my frustration over the new housing and everything else. I love my life in Paris and the four years here have been the best of my life. We've spent most of our married life here, made some great friends, had our beautiful daughter. The four years before, we lived in four different places, and never felt grounded. Now we do.

I know I'll be sad for awhile, but I'll be in Rome and loving it in no time. It is just hard sometimes to get your head around it all. I think I need to say it over and over, until it sinks in.

In a week, we won't live here anymore.

In a week, we won't live here anymore.

In a week, we won't live here anymore.


Cheri said...

Can I ask what kinda job your husband has that y ou guys live and move all over the world? You know what mine does, and most days, I wouldn't trade our life style and experiences for anything!

Jacquie said...

Moving is so not fun. I hope all works well and you get some better housing in Rome.

Susan said...

Hang in there girl, I bet your experience in Rome is the best yet to come. Fear of the unknown future, saying goodbye and letting go is always hard. Know that God is with you every step of the way.

carrie said...


I am always anxious about change/transition. Beginnings and endings are so hard!

Keep us posted about the housing stuff!