Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Happy Birthday, Dad

Me and my Dad, two years ago...

Today would've been my Dad's 53rd birthday. I still can't believe he's been gone for 11 months. So much has changed, but I feel more and more confident that he's here with me all the time, looking after us. One thing I've noticed lately is that the stages of grief are very fluid. I thought I went through all of them and was okay, but lately I've been feeling a little disbelief again. Did it really happen to him... a virus that attacks the heart? Even in normal healthy people, which he was? He was one of the most active, healthy people I knew and I would've never believed a year ago if you told me he would be dead in a month.

I've been thinking about our life a year ago, on his birthday last year. He left that day to go home after visiting me. He and my Mom had come to the ultrasound that week and saw Love Bug. The doctor tried to see the sex, but didn't feel sure enough to say. But he knew; he told me afterwards that he was sure that she was a girl. That next weekend, after my brother arrived, we went to London as a family. It was great.

Here is a picture of all of us at a pub... Love Bug is still in Mommy's belly, obviously.

I want to do something special for his birthday each year, especially for Love Bug. I have pictures of my Dad all over and I already have a photo album of about 40 pictures of him. It's in the pile with her books and I want her to look at it and carry it around, like any other book. But that's more of an everyday thing. What could I do each year for his birthday, so my kids "know" him? Any ideas that are positive? Maybe lighting a candle and looking at pictures and telling funny stories about him? Let me know what you think...

1 comment:

Jacquie said...

Maybe you could do a day of his favorite foods etc. IS there something that you use to do with him you could share with your DD?That really is a nice idea though, I hope you find something that works for you.

My Dad has been gone 9 years this year and somedays I still think that it's not reality. I find that when I am with my younger sister it's my biggest reminder of him, she laughs just like our Dad did.