Saturday, April 14, 2007

Why do we put so much pressure on each other?

Moms out there, band together, and let's all stop putting so much darn pressure on each other! Last week, I was at one of my many different Baby/Mom activities and some of the other Moms there gave me a hard time for not doing co-sleeping. They spent time actually trying to guilt me into believing that Love Bug was better of in our bed and that I was traumatizing her for putting her by herself in dark room.

Well, at the time I cowered and just talked around it, but now I'm P.O.ed. The Love Bug sleeps so much better (10 - 12 hours in fact) in her own room at night. When she slept in a bassinet beside our bed for the first 4 months, she tossed and turned and woke up when we made too much noise. Now, we check on her through the night, have a monitor, and she is still blissfully sleeping on her own. At times (like last night), she is worn out and I just put her down. She usually just talks to herself and falls asleep without even crying. Maybe I'm crazy, but that doesn't sound like a traumatized baby to me. She is happy, smiling all the time.

I don't know much, but I do know that we really treat each other badly sometimes. I support all Moms and try not to judge. I have decided to stay home, but I know a lot of my friends are better mothers when they're at work because they have the fulfillment of a career also. I breastfeed, but I feel for mothers who have to supplement and have problems, and I support mothers who use formula if breastfeeding is not for them. I would, no doubt, encourage a friend who wasn't sure about breastfeeding, but I hope she wouldn't see it as pressure. The moment she expressed a desire to just move to formula, I would never bring it up again. It's hard enough to be a parent without the guilt that others put on you. And I would certainly never judge another parent for their choice in how to have their child sleep, as long as it's safe.

So, let's do it. Help each other... support each other.... we have enough to worry about without pointing out to each other what we could do better. So there!

1 comment:

Jacquie said...

I can't remember how I discovered you but I enjoy peeking in.

I think it is every persons choice how to raise their children, I can see why you would be p'oed after your encounter the other day. As parents we do what we think is right and we should never be questioned about that (well with in reason right?)

All my girls have slept in that "dark bedroom" and they are all quite well adjusted.

Your doing a great job I'm guessing you DD looks quite happy from the pictures you have posted.