Friday, March 23, 2007

Babies are the center of everything...

One of the scary things about raising a baby and being with her 24/7 for the most part, is that my behavior is all she knows. For a baby, you are the center of their world, and they think that everything is their doing. Anytime you smile, laugh, cry, yell, or whatever else, they think it's because of something they've done. It may seem self-centered, but not at all. It's all they know and part of their development. In time, they learn that a world outside theirs exists, and then over many years, hopefully before adulthood, they understand that the behavior of others around them, is not necessarily a reflection of them. And then hopefully they learn the true lesson of adulthood... that none of it is their fault and as grown-ups we have a choice in how we behave and react.
I read about all this a lot in my child psychology books when I was getting my degree in Education. It explains so many things, like why children think that their parents fighting or losing a job or having a bad day, is their fault.
So, anyway, it makes me think about everything I do. I am so cautious and I try not to get upset about everything that would normally bother me. When our washer broke on Wednesday, I tried to stay calm. If B and I disagree, we just talk nicely to each other. I find myself yelling at people on the road and then break into a song, like a crazy woman. "The light's green, you... hey, hey baby... I wanna know... if you'll be my girl."
And to tell you the truth, it's probably a good thing.

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